一个光棍的临终谎言

a bachelor at time of death lies

说出了不找女友的15条理由 Speak don't seek the girl friend's 15 logical arrangements from
1、剑术中最高的境界即是“无剑“。人生若能达于斯，夫复何求？
1, the tallest state in the swordsmanship be "have no sword".Life if ability reach at the Si, does the man reply He2 Qiu2?
2、决无失恋的痛苦。道理很浅显，好比穷汉不会掉钱包一样。
2, definitely have no brokenhearted of pain and sufferings.The truth is very plain, compare to the poor Han will not drop purse similar.
3、哲学家说，一个女人等于500只鸭子。即便是我没事，也不会去养那么多的鸭子，更何况我的事儿很多。
3, philosopher say, a women equal 500 duck.Even if is me have no matter, can't keep so many duck, either, much less my business son be a lot of.
4、眼下野蛮女友之风盛行，不找女友实是为自己身体考虑，没办法谁叫咱太瘦呢。
4, the breeze of at present savage girl friend be widely accepted, don't seek a girl friend in really body for himself consideration, can't who call Za too thin.
5、不须陪坐看悲情影片，看完不须递手巾。
5, need not to accompany to sit to watch sad feeling film, finish see need not to pass hand towel.
6、可让N个女生长年累月地害单相思(N为非负整数。在这篇文章发表之后，N=0)。
6, can let the regularly tired month ground of a girl harm an unrequited love(the N is a not- negative integral.After this article announce, N=0).
7、不用循规蹈矩、收敛形骸，故作圣人状。我是一个俗人，形骸放浪惯了，改不了也不想改。
7, need not obey rules and regulations, refrain from rash action skeleton, so make a sage form.I am a vulgar person, the skeleton used to dissolute, can't change also don't want to change.
8、遇到美女，可以肆无忌惮地看个够，而不会有任何不良后果。即使她的男友就在旁边也没关系，他是绝无还击的机会的。
8, meet beauty, can recklessly see enough, but will not have any bad result.Even the friend of her male beside didn't also relation, he be in no way return the opportunity of shot.
9、不找女友也是古人的圣训。靠办学发了财的孔先生对它的学生说，“三人行，必有我师“。可见他老人家的用心，不然的话，他会说，“三人行，必有灯泡“。
9, don't seek a girl friend is also the saint Xun of the ancients."Three people line, necessarily have me the teacher" the student who depended to do to learn hair the bore Sir of wealth to it say, .It is thus clear that he work hard of old man's house, otherwise, "three people line, necessarily have a lamp bulb" he will say, .
10、不会面临“你要它(她)，还是要我“的两难选择。我爱运动，爱旅游，爱上网，所幸的是它们都不会给我提诸如此类的“二选一“的难题。
10, will not face two difficult choices of "you want it(she), still keep wanting me".My love sport, love tour, fall in love with a net, fortunately they all will not give I lift such as this kind of the hard nut to crack of "two choose a".
11、找一个美女做女友，好比买一部好单车，日防抢，夜防偷，日子久了，恐怕要得神经衰弱；找一个丑女，更非我所愿。鲁迅说，“柏拉图的恋爱论我是能看、能言，却不能行“。我也一样。
11, seek a beauty to be a girl friend, compare to buy a good bicycle, the day defend to rob, the night defend to steal, the day be long, perhaps good nervous prostration;Seek an ugly female, more not what I expected."Plato of be in love theory I is ability see, ability speech, but can't line" Lu is fast to say, .I am also similar.
12、假使我某日不幸成名，然后冒出一个女人，出本书叫《XXX与我二三事》，大赚其钱，我岂不是亏大了？
12, if I some day unfortunate become famous, then come out a women, origin the book call 《the XXX be 23 matters with me 》, big earn its money, am I not Kui big?
13、不会背上“重色轻友“的恶名。没事儿干的时候，可以和朋友一起大碗儿喝酒，大块儿吃肉。
13, will not carry on the back up the bad reputation of "heavy color light friend".The time have no matter son stem, can drink with friend big bowl son, the big piece son eat meat.
14、对于美女，我虽心向往之，但决不追求她。倘若象我这么优秀的男生去追求她，岂不是要让她的自我感觉比我还良好？
14, for the beauty, I although the heart look forward to it, will never pursue her.Elephant if I the so excellent boy pursue her, don't make her ego felling better than me?
15、听LLA(LOVELOSERASSOSIATION)的同志们痛陈屡战屡败的悲惨经历，乃作同情安慰状实则心中暗爽。事实上，天下本无事，庸人自扰之。我就不会自去找事儿。“女人永远伤害不了男人“，斯言诚哉！
15, listen to LLA(LOVELOSERASSOSIATION) the comradeses criticize repeatedly fought and lost pathetic experience, is make sympathize with to comfort a form solid heart in dark and great.In fact, world origin have no matter, much ado about nothing.I can't from find matter son."Woman forever injury not man", Si speech truly Zai!
终于写完了。我知道很多人想砍我，没办法，这年头为了真理还真得有点儿牺牲精神。
finally finished write.I know many people to want to chop down me, can't, this year for the sake of the truth return true get have a little son sacrifice spirit.文章源自两天的博客-https://2days.org/462.html

From：http://www.lieny.cn/post/32/文章源自两天的博客-https://2days.org/462.html 文章源自两天的博客-https://2days.org/462.html